Bueller? Bueller?

Long time, no post.  I must apologize for my prolonged absence.  Having a single parent summer, and then starting a new full time teaching position has made it next to impossible to document the insanity that I encounter on a daily basis. 

Let's recap, shall we.

Mike left.
The boys and I finished up the school year, traveled this great land of ours, and made wonderful memories with grandparents and aunts.  We made it from South Carolina to Arizona to Michigan.  We swam in two of the Great Lakes, jet skied, and saw the rings and one moon (possibly two) of Saturn.  We tractored.  We Gatored.  We roller coastered.  We paraded.  We water parked.  We had tonsils removed.  Matty ate.  No, really.  He does that now.  I interviewed.  I got a new job.  We played.  We worked.  We mowed.  We pruned.  We harvested homegrown watermelons. 

But all the while, we missed Mike.

Then, he left Iraq.

And got diverted to Italy instead of Spain. Something about Greeks.  Then, he climbed a volcano, and it started erupting.  And went cliff diving.  And got stern lectures from me, including the words, "So help me, if you have safely made it out of a combat zone only to die on a volcano...". Then he made it to Spain.  Then across the Atlantic.

And then he made it home.

And, even though it was a long four months, it also felt like he hadn't been gone a day!  We were so happy to have him back!  We celebrated by spending some time in the Lowcountry at Edisto.

And here is a random picture of the boys in their school uniforms on Mitch's first Mass day at school.

So, that is it for now.  See you in another four months!!!

Vote For Pedro!

My kids....aahhhhh....my kids.  They are a constant source of entertaintment.  Usually the mocking kind. 

On the last day of school, Matty had a Fiesta!  That got me a-thinkin'.  Just stick with me for a minute...

He loves tots.  Ligers are pretty much his favorite animal.   And, he definitely has nunchuck skills.

and.....

And perhaps the apple does not fall very far from the dork tree.  I am just one side pony tail short of a Deb,  as I bet you that my parents still have my Kaboodle up in the attic!  We are all Dyno-mite!!!

I Think I Feel A Wreck Coming On....

My great friend Steph sent this link along to me a few months, and many, many laughs ago.  If you have never checked out

http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

then please do yourself a favor.  Get a good cup of coffee, a comfy chair, and peruse.  My thoughts turn to cakes, as I am picking one up tomorrow morning in preparation for our preschool graduation.  I do not have high hopes.  Here are come factors involved:

1.  It is from Wal-mart.

2.  It is supposed to read:  "Congratulations, Graduates!"  I am just asking for it, aren't I?

3.  see #1

4.  It took her three tries to correctly record my 10 digit phone number.  She said that she was having such a hard time, "cause those first three numbers are different than around here."

5.  I had to slowly, oh so slowly, spell out each word to be written on the cake, and at one time had to tell her that her lowercase "d" was actually a "b."

6.  It is going to have "ligt blue triming" and "pastell colors"

Go check out the sight.  Maybe you'll see our cake in a few days!

Well, Now I Know...

If I ever wondered what my boys really thought of me, well, wonder no more.   This, apparently, is what I look like, according to Mitch.  Complete with earrings and a necklace (I attribute that certain Frankensteinish look to my accessories).

Mitch also gave me a new purse.

And then Matty answered a few questions about yours truly.

Not bad, Matty.  You get bonus points for the treadmill and lettuce comments, but you were incorrect about the money situation going on in my purse.  I also am not quite sure how to take the idea that the sole reason that you love me does not involve me taking care of you or comforting you or playing with you or cooking for you or cleaning for you or laughing at you as you put on your undies and run around the house yelling, "Captain Underpants!"  My redeeming quality is that I love your daddy, who is definitely your best buddy.  Not quite sure how to take that!

Slight Hiccups...

So, Mike has been gone about 11 1/2 days, but seriously, who is counting?

So far, I have had two slight emotional hiccups....no breakdowns or hysterics or sobbing...just momentary feelings of "Oh, man.  I wish he were here."

Here are the circumstances surrounding each:

*At Wal-mart (I know, I know), I was on autopilot, just going about our normal Wal-mart business.  Mindlessly filling the cart with our household staples.  Yelling at kids to put back the neon purple Pop-Tarts.  The usual.  I reached for the Arizona Iced-Tea that Mike drinks, put it in the cart, and then thought, "Shoot.  He's the only one that drinks it" and then had to put it back on the shelf.  Pitiful.

*While driving in the car, our song came on.  Everlong, by the FooFighters.  When we first met?  First date?  First song at our wedding?  Nope, nope, and nope.  Everlong is our song...our Guitar Hero song.  The one where I become Domestica and he becomes Rock Daddy and we totally rock that thing out like teenagers on a Friday night while our kids snore in their beds.  That song.  I silently played air guitar while a tear silently slid down my cheek.

OK, not really, but it was sad hearing that song and knowing that he was not here for me to kick his butt at GH.

Howdy there,. from single parent land.  Shhh....don't tell my house, but it has been about 9 days, and so far, nothing has broken.  Murphy's Law of the Military Spouse clearly states that:  "Upon deployment, all systems of a home will work together to wreak havoc upon the remaining spouse, including, but not limited to:  chirping smoke detectors, broken appliances (preferably with water spewing out), leaking faucets, inoperable garage doors, and, most importantly, faulty heating and cooling devices.  It is also at this time that there is a general increase in accounts of things getting jammed, stuck, loose, twisted, unhooked, and broken.  Please also realize that nature is also incorporated into this law, as there is also an increase in household pests, such as spiders."  Well, so far, so good.  I'll keep you posted on what does decide to break...

Here are some photos from Mike's birthday.  WooWee, that's a lot of smoke from all those candles!

And then before he left, we took a little weekend trip to the ocean.  We headed to Fripp Island, which is down by Beaufort in the gorgeous low country.  It is a cute little island, named for a sea captain or a pirate or a whale or something.  We rented a little house that came complete with a view like this...

wildlife like this...

and the best part of all...GOLF CARTS!

We zipped all around that little island and had a blast.  We did have to chuckle at one point, however, when our "Yankee" children were at a playground.  They were playing on a wooden ship, which quickly became their shrimp boat and they were hauling in their nets to see their fresh catch of the day! 

Next up, Mother's Day...here's a sneak peak....aren't I lovely?

TDY

It's deployment time.  And somehow, a 60 day deployment has developed into a 100 day tour.  "Advon" is a naughty word in our house.

Mike is off to a desert location...highlighted by "near beer" and 120 plus degree temperatures.  Be safe, babe.  We will miss you!

Catching up...

Greetings!  We have been, very happily, hosting houseguests as of late.  First came Grandma and Papa.  We had a great time!  So great, in fact, that I neglected to take one single photo.  I'll leave you with a mental image, however.  Mitch talked conned grandma into doing the "spider" while swinging.  Imagine two heads, two bodies, 4 legs, and a swing.  Awesome!

Then came Grandma Julie.  We all had a wonderful time with her!  It is such a joy to see the kids with their grandparents.  There may be many physical miles between our homes, but you would never know it to see these hooligans with their "grownups."  Thanks for all of of the fun, Grandma Julie! 

Here they are with their Easter clothes on!

We have also been super busy with egg hunts.  Matty yelled out, "I'm ready for the easter egg hunt!" and then came around the corner dressed like this:

I don't even ask anymore.  Whatever.

We then loaded up the car and headed to a gorgeous state park in the upstate for some camping.  In a tent.  By a lake.  In a tent.  With two children who seriously need to have their tonsils removed.  They snored so loudly!  Park rangers stopped by several times in the night based on reports that bears were heard growling and fighting in the area.  We repeatedly assured them that it was just our children...breathing.  Here are some pictures from the "Big Campout!"

This is the view from our tent site.

Boys throwing rocks.

Boys building a fire.

Cooking dinner.

A gorgeous lagoon we found while taking a nature walk.

Looks eerily like a "senior portrait." 

Oh, and did I forget to mention that this one was diagnosed with Strep Throat just a few hours prior to going camping?  We just brought his antibiotic in the cooler and carried on. 

Our budding pyromaniac.

A visitor we found crawling under the tent as we were packing it up and putting it away.  Yup, that's a scorpion.

A loon, in the water.

Two loons, by a tree.

Consider yourself sufficiently caught up!  Now, back to T-ball, Legos, and getting ready for Mike to deploy at the end of the month.  Happy Spring everyone!

More Junk Drawer....

Here are some of the recent haps from down south.

SHELVES!  The handy-man fairy came to our house (after he bought himself a table saw at Lowe's) and made me some custom shelves for under the stairs.  Here is his assistant showing off the work.  Now, I can store more kitchen gadgets, and  we have room to for us to hide in the event of a tornado!  Yeah for fondue sets!  Yeah for safety!

Apparently someone got hold of the camera yesterday.  I do not know if this is a self-potrait or if big brother was involved, but I do know that it is truly terrible.

Matty came home from school with these pink sunglasses and Mitch threw them on.  I call this series "Elton John Comes to Dinner."

The boys are proud members of the Mighty Muckdogs...the baddest T-ball team in all the land. 

We went to the giant St. Patrick's Day festival and parade this morning with our great friends.  Here are the hooligans and their honorary new member.

The parade was awesome...and profound.  For example, here is a crowd favorite.  Animal riding a Cooler Scooter.

And, there is simply nothing more festive than nature's beauty bracketed by nuclear power plants.  I call this one, "Rainbows and Reactors."  Moving, isn't it.

But, this.  This absolutely took the cake and may prove useful in the future.  This man is part of the "Zingo" crew.  Yes, folks.  Zingo's are scooter ridin' designated drivers.  You call them if you have been having a little too much fun on the town, and they come and meet you wherever you are.  Then, they expertly fold their scooter into a compact little square, throw it in your trunk, and drive you home.  In your car.  When they get to your home, they pop their little mobile back into shape, and Zingo their way back to civilization!  Brilliant!  I am wondering if they also pay the babysitter and tuck you into bed.

It is a bit difficult to see, but this Zingo driver is actually wearing a Budweiser hat.  Aaahhhhh, now that's beautiful!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

For the month of February, Mitch's class was learning about important African American inventors.  One such person invented the ironing board. 

Mitch:  "Well, ironing boards are pretty cool, but I told my teachers that it is too bad that we do not have one of those at our house."

The following is an email my hilarious sister sent to our mother today in response to my mom asking her about her date last night.  Consider it a Happy Friday present.  Enjoy.

Hi Mom,
I am dead and lying in a ditch because Kansas abducted me. Just kidding. We eloped. He doesn't have a job or a place to live, so I am letting him stay with me for awhile until he kicks his meth habit and gains some weight back. I hope his pit bulls like my cats!
Love Melissa
PS I'll write more later.



You're welcome.

Regarding T-Ball

The boys have ventured into the unknown this year.  Yup, team sports.  Or, sports at all, for that matter.  Given that approximately half of their DNA comes from yours truly, who could not coordinate her way out of a paper bag, they are, well, athletically challenged.

Enter the perfect situation.  Our good friends have asked our boys to join their T-ball team.  The boys know most of the players, they can be on the same team, and the coach is a wonderful friend of ours.  I also teach their son in my preschool class.  See?  Perfectly perfect.

Matty misses the birthday cut-off by a month and a half, but I ask my friend and she says that it will be fine.  Just register them ,and even though Matty is young, just tell the T-ball people that we have talked with Coach and he said it would be OK.  So I do.

Two weeks later, we get a call.  "Yes, Mr. Ferrario.  This is Cynthia from the baseball league.  We just wanted to let you know that Matty's case went before the board, and the board voted to allow him to play even though he is outside the age limit.  Coach Martin vouched for his abilities."

WHAT?!??!  He did what?  He put his name on the line for this guy?  Dear me. 

I immediately called my friend and said that this simply won't do.  I can not have Coach's reputation in the community completely trashed.  Do not vouch for his abilities!  What abilities?  He doesn't even have pants!

Well, Coach laughed and said it would all be fine.  But that was before practice started.

Since then, Matty has come down dressed and ready for his first practice.  Wearing two bracelets.  Last night, he went down to the garage to find a shovel to dig a big hole so the coaches could fall in it as they were racing at the end of practice.  And he was very mad at me for putting his pajamas on under his clothes last night in an attempt to keep him warm.  He wanted his PJ's on the outside, so that all of his friends could see, "that they glow in the dark."  How's that for abilities?  Glad to know that his head's really in the game.

Then, as big brother was sauntering his way to home plate to bat, Coach told him to hustle.  Mitch continued to lolly gag.  When he got back to the dugout  (or, "digout" as it is called by our resident Babe Ruth's), I asked him what it meant when Coach said to hustle.  I informed him it meant to run, Run, RUN!  "Oh, you mean 'hustle' means run, like, in Spanish or somethin'?

Strike Three. 

Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?

Here is a list of people who are placed on a pedestal in our home by a five-year-old boy:

Garbage men, jumbo jet pilots, Red Robin Employees, Ronald Reagan (for providing funding for the first space station), and this guy.

Click here to view these pictures larger

A big shout out to this Lowe's employee for letting my boy select the red paint color for his barn that he just built out of wood,  and letting him go behind the counter into the Employees Only section and push the buttons on the computer and the paint mixing machine.  You are the wind beneath his wings.