Conversations with Matty...

Our sweet little Matty is a follower. He is always watching his big brother, seeing what Mitch is doing, so that he can imitate him. All of this despite our many conversations with him about choosing appropriate role models.

Anyway, after two years of watching Mitch walk up to him, grab a toy out of his hand, replace it with a crappy toy, and then tell us, "No. I didn't take it, we traded." we have been waiting for Matty to stand up for himself. Tell Mitch, "No!" Well, it is starting to happen, and boy, did we ever miscalculate!

I did not realize that the "standing up for himself" would also apply to refusing to do what I wanted him to do!

Here are some examples of conversations with Matty from the last few days.

Me: "Matty, time to come eat."
Matty: "No eat. Play cars."


Me: "Matty, time to change your diaper."
Matty: "No diaper. Play choo-choos."


Me: "Matty, time to (fill in the blank with some sort of boring task)."
Matty: "No. Play toys. No boring task!" (OK- I made that last part up. Sorry.)



And, yes. That is a diaper on his head. And, yes. It is clean.

Love Can Grow a Garden

OK- Are you ready for a super sappy post about believing in yourself, overcoming obstacles, and doing anything you set your mind to? Ready to be completely inspired? Maybe even motivated to run right out, face your fears head on, and conquer them triumphantly? Well, if you are looking for that, you best move on, because you will not find that here. Instead, this is a sarcastic story about young whippersnappers gettin' the better of their parents.

A few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of having our good friends visit for the afternoon, as they were passing through from North Carolina on their way back to Florida. We boke our own rule of: "No one shall ever come to see us at this cheesey apartment." but for the sake of adult conversation with good friends, and a chance for the kids to play, we broke down and gave them directions to the ghetto.

They have two darling children, who the boys love. Mitch, especially, loves Lauren. Loves her loves her loves her (and Claire, too! ). Well, those two got to playin' and imaginin' outside, and before we knew it, they had shovels, buckets, and a wheelbarrow. "We're making a garden" they exclaimed, full of idealistic four-year-old glee. "Great," said all of the adults. Good luck with that! I'm sure you'll have a bumper crop of imaginary green beans and made-up peas. Yum! I can just see the giant invisible salad that you will make with all of your yield! Ha!

They even got water, packed the "seeds" down, put it in the sun...the whole nine yards. Oh, isn't that cute, we all snickered. Making a garden, la la la.

Well, joke is on us. When we went into the garage a few days later, THIS is what we found.

We have no idea where this could have come from, but our guess is birdseed. OK, you two rascals, I take back my sarcasm. You did it. You grew a garden. Now, can you grow me some imaginary crow, so that I can eat it?

Swimming Lessons....A Work in Progress

Here is a little tale about our Mitch...a complex child. Fun-loving and silly, but painfully shy and quiet when confronted with new situations. Take swimming pools, for example.

In our apartment pool, he is amazing. He dons those "Floaties of Invincibility" and is unstoppable. A total splash monster. Running and leaping into the water, going completely under for several seconds before he pops up and does it again. And again. And again. He motors all around the pool, kicking and paddling and is fairly self sufficient, except for when one floatie broke and was unusable, but he insisted on "swimming" by himself with only one. That time, he just swam in circles, but had a great time doing it. OK- swimming is totally under control. Check that off the list.

In the words of Lee Corso (ESPN Gameday host and prognosticator- can you tell I am getting excited for college football season?) "Not so fast my friend." I signed Mitch up for swimming lessons at the new YMCA. Yesterday was the first day. He is going to be in the Pike class, which is the lowest of the swimming lifeforms. Hopefully some day he can graduate to the Polliwogs, the Eels, or even the Fish, but for now, he is a Pike. He seems excited, we get to the pool, and that is when he turns into a puddle of mushy, non-swimming, plankton. Plankton is lower than a pike, right?

He has a darling teacher, Mr. Tye, who is all full of smiles and encouragement...at the beginning of the lesson. He coaxes, prods, and pleads with Mitch to even sit on the side of the pool and put his legs in the water. Mitch is having none of it. Not wanting to interfere, but certainly not going to allow Mitch to continue to be a jelly fish, I head over to him and prod him (read- push him into the pool. Now remember- this kid is not afraid of the water. He loves the water. I was not being cruel.) Tye takes him for a little swim, and asks Mitch to kick, at which time he puts forth the most pathetic effort I have ever seen. He slightly, ever so slightly, moves one leg. Then, ten minutes later, he moves another one. The complete lack of effort continues throughout the lesson, and I watch as Tye's initial smiles of encouragement morph into looks of total confusion as to what this kid was doing, and finally into pleas for help. His eyes are searching for anyone, anyone who might be able to shed light into what exactly is going on. The grande finale was when Tye was asking the kids to blow bubbles in the water (remember- this is the kid who goes completely under the water all the time) and Mitch looks at him and says, "But, I don't have any air." Tye was utterly stunned. No idea what to make of this.

By this point, I am just praying for the lesson to end so I can get my hands on this kid. It ends, I am toweling Mitch off, when a mother looks at me and says, "His first time in a pool?" I smile, but I want to reply, "No, his first time in public."

And then, because someone has a sense of humor, the fire alarm goes off in the whole gym. Like this whole experience was not traumatic enough for us! People are filing out left and right, Mitch and I head out the doors and try to track down Matty, who is in the Childwatch area. We finally get everyone and head home.

After I report to Mike, Mike spends the evening talking to Mitch, bumping up his self confidence, telling him he can do it!!! Bless his heart. I take a practical approach, and moments before today's lesson, I bribe him with a trip to the Cracker Barrel.

Well, I am happy to report that today's lesson was much, much better. Mitch was jumping. Mitch was kicking. Mitch found the air to blow bubbles. Tye kept looking at me like, "What did you say to this kid?!?" He may have figured it out, however, because after every jump or kick, Mitch would look at me and say, "Do we get to go to Cracker Barrel yet?" Mitch was much more at ease and willing to try. Thank goodness! He still did, however, provide Mitch moments, as Tye was trying to get the kids to make giant circles with their arms, just like they were "scooping ice cream." Mitch just started doing weird things with his hands and his mouth. He told Tye that he did not want to scoop the ice cream, just eat it. Again, Tye's confused look made an appearance. But for the most part, it was a success.

Now, I am not saying that I have a Michael Phelps on my hands and we are certainly not heading off to Beijing anytime soon, but at least I think that I have a Pike. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date with a Pike and the Cracker Barrel.

You'll Poke Your Eye Out!

Mitch: "Mom! Matty just hit me in the eye with his (plastic) hammer. Now, I can't even open my eye again until after Christmas."

Me: "OK. Well, come eat lunch."

Weather Man Mitch

Oh my! Here is a treat!

Yesterday, we took the boys to an awesome children's museum in downtown. We had a blast! Here is a highlight- Mitch doing the weather in the little TV studio. He is always running in and checking the weather when the Today Show breaks and shows the little weather snippet, and here is his own version.

Translation help:
"It's going to be a rainy day today, so you have to listen to the weather!"
Then some mumbling, and then, "It's going to be raining today...so hard...that the whole world will even look like a big, big mess, from all the rain coming down."

And at the end, "That's all" and he "storms" off. Thank you, Mitch, and thank you, me, that something told me to have the camera in movie mode.

Just watching him slap those "L's" up all over, we can hardly stand it. So make sure you grab your umbrellas!

Mitch Turns 4!

Big day! Here's how it all went down! (This will be a chronological, pictorial representation of our day. Highly entertaining to related parties, such as grandma's. Generally, not interesting to anyone not related to these hooligans. If you have stumbled onto this blog accidentally, there is still time to get out. It's OK. I will not be offended.)

Here are the birthday cake preparations. Don't worry- this business was authorized, and thanks to Shout Pre-Treater, the shirt recovered nicely.




Here is Mitch admiring the finished product. "Oh, Mom! Great job, Mom!"

Then, bring on the presents!
(Mitch making a pirate face...argh!)

Thank you, everyone, for the wonderful presents! I don't think the boys are going to surface for a week, they are so engrossed in new toys!

Then, into our clothes and off to an awesome children's museum. (Mitch, of course, comes running out of his room, exclaiming, "I'm all dressed in a GREAT outfit!" We were hoping that they might let us in for free, as our child has a certain homelessness to him. No such luck.)

Here we are in the "World of Work." This was a perfect little area, where the kids got right to work as farmers, firemen, and construction workers.
Then, on to the child sized grocery store, complete with real carts, fake food, and big smiles. We let the kids just go, very curious to see what they would select to put in their carts. You know, all the fruits and vegetables that they see in our home every day, at every meal. Always.

Mitch did pretty well. A nice assortment of fruit, breads (I am sure it was whole grain), and a pie for dessert. He even plans on doing a bit of laundry when he gets home (check out the bottom of the cart!)Then, there's little brother. Here is what his cart looked like. I am ashamed, but not surprised.
DOUGHNUTS! Ritz crackers, Cheese-Its, a pie, and doughnuts. Honestly...I did not even know he knew what a doughnut was...(yeah, right!)

Then out to dinner at "Rob Robin" (really Red Robin) and then back home for a few more presents and cake.

Then, green cake faces all over, the tub, books, and Good Night! Happy Birthday, Mitch!

Happy Bithday, Mitch.

I really love you. See?

If you know what PCS means, this is for you...

The World According to Mitch...

Mitch: "Hey, Mom. Did you know that some people have fat tummies and they have to stand up really tall to keep from falling over. I think that Jesus just made them that way, but not you and not Dad. You guys don't have fat tummies at all."

Thanks, son. That just earned you some extra birthday presents!

Fruit and Vegetable Analogies- We Just Came From the Farmer's Market

These kids, I tell you. They are funny. They are happy. They are naughty. Everything you hope your kids will be. Sometimes they are like peas in a pod. Matty just watches and watches big brother, just taking everything in. And then, if Mitch does it, you can just bet that Matty has to do it too. Matty will even announce, "Matty do it too" just to leave no doubt about the situation. Mitch puts on his floaties and jumps in the pool. Matty dons his floaties and jumps in the pool. Mitch wants to build with Legos. Matty runs and grabs some Legos and gets to work, always glancing sideways at Mitch to see what steps to take next. This lends a great deal of insight into why my sister, my younger sister, got to get her ears pierced on the exact same day that I did, when, in theory she should have had to wait two years!

I love how Matty looks up to Mitch, and I equally love how Mitch seems to get his role as big brother...taking time to show him how to do things, watching out for him, helping him out (we, as parents, aren't supposed to be doing those things, are we?)

But just as much as I appreciate how alike they are, I also love that they can be...well...like apples and oranges. They approach the world differently, and I equally love their outlooks. For example, at the fireworks the other night, Matthew was happy just to be. To simply appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the colors, saying "green" and "purple" for each firework, regardless of the actual color. He was enthralled with just watching. Happy to just let himself be entertained.

Mitch, however, has never, ever been one to just be. He has to do. He spent the entire time wondering about the fireworks. How do they go? What makes the colors? Who is lighting them? He eventually came to his own conclusion that they were, in fact, being shot off by a: "Ghost Cloud." Hey- I did not say he was brilliant, just engaged.

Now, Mitch is a stickler for the truth and detail. "Mom, I'll be to dinner in three minutes." "No, Mom- that looks like an oval, not a circle, Mom." Matty, however, is a big liar. While driving down the road, he is always calling out things that he most definitely has not seen. Like a John Deere truck. And lightning during a blue sky. And he is always refuting the presence of poo in his diaper, even when he is followed around by a brown cloud. Definitely more of a free spirit. A big, fat lying free spirit.

But, no matter what type of produce my hooligans are being, I sure am lucky to be surrounded by such peaches, even if they sometimes drive me bananas.

Weird Quirks and Fireworks

Happy 4th of July! We had a wonderful, burn-free day and here is how it went down. It started with us heading to the little burg of Gilbert, South Carolina, to attend the Peach Festival Parade. It was definitely small town, America. Lots of friendly people, pick up trucks, and not even too many rebel flag sightings...except of course for the occasional tattoo or T-shirt here and there. The South Will Rise Again, you know. Anyway, here are the men preparing for the parade. Nothing says Happy Birthday, America like Red, White, Blue...and Green.

The parade kicked off with an old fire truck. A definite favorite with our fam.


Then some TRACTORS! Here is Mitch, screaming with glee: "Look! An 'L'!"

And here is the "L." And a cool Oliver.
Then, the funny and weird stuff started. Here are some photo highlights. First, this just made us laugh. His sign says, "Support the Small Farmers" and for some reason we found this very funny. Not his plight, just his sign.

Then, you will all be glad to know that the Woodmen of the World offer their full support to the Arm Forces, as opposed to the Armed Forces. This prompted my husband to proceed to flap his arms around for at least five minutes, pretending to hit people and generally crack himself up.Then, there was this totally odd pirate ship, filled with scary people from the local haunted house. Strange, very strange.

And the grande finale of weirdness was this. WHAT? Was he stolen from the zoo for the big day? Or does the church keep him out back for just such occasions? I am completely baffled. Maybe they are native to South Carolina. Not sure. I'll be on the lookout for indigenous camels as I drive around.

After the parade, we found where the tractors were all parked and had some great fun.

Our night involved fireworks, which we watched at the local shopping center. The show was fantastic, made all that much more exciting by the incredible lightning that was showing off concurrently with the fireworks. Mitch was glad to watch the show from inside the car, which was fine. Matty and Mike stood outside and enjoyed the show, with Matty trading in the usual ooohhh's and aaahhhh's for, "More" and "A Ball." Happy Birthday, America!

Mitch and Lauren

We LOVE this picture.

An "A" For Effort

Fine work, Matty. Fine work.

Happy Birthday America!! Now, call Child Protective Services.

Ahhhh. The 4th of July. Celebration (we love a good party). Independence (what is that?). Fireworks (oh dear).

There is a general fear in our family surrounding fireworks. I believe I shall now delve into the root of this fear. It might have something to do with my father essentially lighting Mike and his new Christmas sweater aflame, shooting bottle rockets at the deer in the backyard to scare them away from the shrubs. But probably it has more to do with this:

Two years ago, when Mitch was a week away from being two, and Matty was quite literally 10 days old, Mike and I foolishly decided that, despite having a brand new baby, we were going to try to get out to do things to enrich the lives of our children. Sure, it would have been easy to wave a sparkler or two at home and throw the kids in bed on time, but we decided that we wanted to go see some fireworks. We spent all day researching the best place to go. I even went out at nap time and drove around to the various town parks with a checklist of criteria to see which show would best fit our needs. Things like easy in, easy out parking and showtimes. We decided to go just across the bridge to the Destin Commons shopping center. Large parking lot for easy access, plenty of grassy places to put our blanket, and we planned to go extra early, set up at a great spot, and then let Mitch go play at the playground until showtime. Brilliant!

All was going according to plan. We found a great location (so we thought). Right up front for maximum viewing enjoyment. Fools. Total and utter fools. The site was set up, Mitch was playing happily at the playground, Matty was dozing in the stroller, enjoying evening air. Mike and I even remember chuckling to ourselves, thinking, "See. We can do this. Everything is under control."

It was almost showtime, so we headed back to our spot. Here is a photo of the men taken moments prior to the disaster. See how unsuspecting and cute they are? They had no idea about what terror was about to befall them.
Well, the "show" started and we quickly realized some errors in our planning. The first being that we had chosen a cheaply done fireworks display, and the fireworks were not the kind that actually went up in the air before exploding into beautiful colors. They were more the kind that stayed on the ground only a few feet from your precious babies and emmitted a shower of sparks in every direction. And the noise, oh my the noise. It was so incredibly, eardrum splittingly loud. We were covering our children's ears with our hands, while trying to shout to each other about what was going on. But the final straw was when the hot, burning wrappers from the fireworks started to rain down in a shower of destruction...onto us. Firework ashes, still aflame, falling down onto our family. It was awful. We grabbed everything we could, still trying to cover ears, and ran for the car. We threw kids in and closed the doors, just to get away from the sounds, smells, and raining fire. Mike went back out into the madness and folded down the stroller and put it in the trunk, then scrambled back into the car. We buckled kids in car seats from inside the car, not daring to open the doors again, lest their ear drums shatter if they had not already. Mitch was in tears, Matty had not woken up a bit, convincing us that his hearing was gone at the first firework explosion and that we had ruined him for life. It was a complete disaster. Worst parents ever.

Last year, we were at our friends home. Mitch watched all the neighborhood kids light sparklers from the dining room window inside the house. There was no way that he was going out there.

Yet, we are not to be defeated! We are planning on heading to the army base tonight, where we will have earplugs on hand for all participating ears, and we will get a spot far, far away from the action and maybe, just maybe we can celebrate the birth of this nation without further scarring our children for life.

In Matty's World...

Monster trucks are king. Unsuspecting cars are frequently being lined up, only to face certain disfigurement by the likes of "Rock Digger" and "Sudden Impact." (It is really Grave Digger, but Mitch insists on calling it Rock Digger, and it has kind of stuck.)


Trucks get points at our house for "big air."

And sometimes, the "Monster Bus" has to get in on all the action.

In Mitch's World...

People design costumes when they are supposed to be napping. They put train Easter baskets on their heads, attach shorts to the top, and become rabbits.

In Mitch's world, good friends from Florida have grandparents that live in North Carolina, so these friends stop in and play at parks on their way up north. Here's a photo of Mitch and Lauren, and the rest of the future wedding party. Also, in Mitch's world, little boys are excited to see old friends, so they wake up early and put on every stitch of green clothing that they can find...you know, to impress the ladies!

And in Mitch's world, zebras are black with green stripes, and pigs and giraffes play in tall grass and eat upside down green birthday cake. Also, zebras have eyebrows.