Future Mensa member...

Someone please alert the society for really smart-like people and stuff, because we definitely have a hot prospect on our hands.

Matty:  "Mom, if you change the first letter in milk to a d. you have dilk."

Me:  "Thank you, Matty."

Matty:  "Dilk, mom.  Dilk."



Two minutes later:
Matty:  "When I grow up, I am going to make a one piece puzzle."

Getting a jump on the holiday rush....

Dear Santa,

This year, for Christmas, I would like a remote control spitting cobra that spits real poison at people.

I love you, Santa.
Matty

Our Child...Judas

In church this morning, after we all turned off our cell phones and the priest processed in and we were all settled, the kids headed to the front for a quick blessing and then went off with the poor woman who conducts a "children's church" session.

When they returned, Mitch leaned in, with a very serious look on his face and said, "Dad.  We saw  a guy with an Ohio State shirt on."  He then leans forward in his seat, spots the offending party, and states (loudly) while directly pointing, "AND THERE HE IS!"

Bo would be proud, son.

Good to Know....

Me:  Matty, have you been learning a lot in kindergarten so far?

Matty:  Yup.  Like lots of rules.

Me:  What is one of the rules that your teacher has taught you?

Matty:  Do not...drink....the holy water.


Oh dear.

Back to School!!

Summer Photo-Rama

Ahhhh.....summer.  It was wonderful.  Everything a summer should be.  Relaxing.  Hot.  Fun.  Hot.  Sunny.  Hot.

Here are some photos from the summer's haps.  In no particular order. Because I am not really one for order. No siree.  Not me. I am more of a free spirit.

Yeah.  Right.

Matty turned 5!  Here is our five-year-old at his birthday party.  Bouncy castles and cake.  And a great time was had by all.

Mitch turned 7!!  Here is our second-grader with a buddy at his bowling party, and also our resident army-guy with his new canteen.  Lookin' good, soldier!

Then, off to Michigan!  First stop, Grandma Julie's!  The boys had their first trip to Comerica to watch the Tigers.  They loved it!  They were glued to their seats with every pitch.  Either that, or Grandma Julie was awesome and took them for frequent walks all around the stadium while Mike and I enjoyed the game with Becky and Mr. Mike.  Can't really remember.

 Then, Lake Huron time!  Jet skis!  Walks on the harbor wall!  Sunsets!

Crazy Matty faces!  Seriously, he makes this face in every picture. 

Then, Mike and I got all gussied up and headed to a good friend's wedding.  On a yacht.  With college friends! 

Next up on our tour was a stop in beloved Ann Arbor for a healthy dose of Maize and Blue Brainwashing.  My husband shed a silent tear of joy as the boys came running up to him in the M-Den, each carrying Michigan Football Jerseys, asking if they may have them.  Yes, boys.  You certainly may.

Then, it was off to Grandma and Papa's house for some country gator ridin' and beach goin'.

       And, alas, summer was also incredibly short.  In fact, this is "School Starts Tomorrow Eve."  The boys are nestled, snug in their beds, with no hopes of sleeping soon as they have been going to bed bed at ten and my attempts at getting them back on a reasonable schedule have failed miserably. 

     This also means that I am about to get sucked into the world of fourth grade and may not surface for quite some time.  I hope to be a better blogger.  I hope to take more time to document the loving chaos that is our family. 

I hope to take more time to smell the roses. 

Or at least post more pictures of Matty and his crazy face. And, look.  He's armed in this one!

I Don't Mean to Toot My Own Horn, But....

When you're good, you're good.  I am referring, of course, to our mad parenting abilities.

Mike and I have totally got it going on.  It is the parents' duty to nurture their children, to instill a sense of self-confidence and esteem, to help them reach for the stars and realize their full potential.  To create well-rounded and contributing members of society.  As parents, we are all over it!

Examples:
Our younger child, upon reaching adulthood, is going to be...Bugs Bunny.  He informed us that he plans to live in a hole in the ground right next to our house.  He will pass his days square dancing with bearded men and helping young penguins escape from overgrown Eskimo types.  He can frequently be found, wandering aimlessly around the house muttering the likes of, "I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque," and "La-di-da-di-da-di-hocus-pooooocus."  In, what can clearly only be an attempt to avoid copyright infringement, he also states, "What's up, Jack."  See, we are parenting rock stars.

And, not to be outdone, Mitch has equally high aspirations.  Last week there was talk of him attending our beloved alma mater, Michigan, and triple majoring in mechanical, material, and electrical engineering, but, come on.  Can you say, "Boooooring?"  He now plans to fore go college altogether, move to Utah, and build what he describes as an "ice base" in the mountains.   He then plans to start his own army.  Of one. 

He says, "ice base."  I hear, "compound."

Now, family is very important to us as well.  Last month, Mitch stated that he was not going to have any children because, "they cost too much. " He also was not planning on ever getting married because he would, "have to spend all of that money on a ring."  Never fear!  Our little problem solver has been working hard.  He now also plans to "not have a job, but I will just mine for gold and diamonds in the mountains.  Then, when I find some, I will make a ring to give to the girl and it won't even cost me anything.  She can work in my ice base with me, and our kids can be part of the army!"  Pardon me if I am mistaken, but didn't David Koresh use a similar pick up line on several of his wives?

So, there you have it.  A cartoon rabbit and a Neo-Nazi Jed Clampett.  Don't you just wish Mike and I could bottle our parenting skills and send you all some?!?    Feel free to email your questions.  We will gladly ponder and then send our feedback.

And then promptly do the opposite of what we say.

He's a Planner!

Mitch: "Mom?"

Me:  non-committal "Hmmm..."

Mitch:  "What if you died and you were home alone with us, taking care of us?  We don't even know dad's number at work.  What would we do?"

Me:  "Baby,  don't worry.  Nothing is going to happen to me."

Mitch:  "But what if you die and there is no one here with us?"

Me:  "Go get a grown up from the neighbor's house."

Mitch:  "OK, mom.  Thanks."

OK, OK. I'll Try.

To blog again.  It's just that somewhere between birthdays and T-Ball and teaching and homework and...life...a few things had to give.  And since they were definitely NOT going to be neurotically vacuuming my house, drinking beer, and drinking beer while vacuuming my house, it appears that blogging may have slipped through the cracks.  But I will try.  I will try to get back into it, as this is the closest thing to a babybook that my kids will ever have.  Basically, me mocking them in typeface, for all the world (or the two people who will check this who actually haven't totally written me off) to see.  I'll go put a few more dollars in the future therapy fund after I post this.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, screams the 4th of July like weird hats, homemade bike decorations, and crashing a golf cart parade!  Happy Birthday, America!

Bueller? Bueller?

Long time, no post.  I must apologize for my prolonged absence.  Having a single parent summer, and then starting a new full time teaching position has made it next to impossible to document the insanity that I encounter on a daily basis. 

Let's recap, shall we.

Mike left.
The boys and I finished up the school year, traveled this great land of ours, and made wonderful memories with grandparents and aunts.  We made it from South Carolina to Arizona to Michigan.  We swam in two of the Great Lakes, jet skied, and saw the rings and one moon (possibly two) of Saturn.  We tractored.  We Gatored.  We roller coastered.  We paraded.  We water parked.  We had tonsils removed.  Matty ate.  No, really.  He does that now.  I interviewed.  I got a new job.  We played.  We worked.  We mowed.  We pruned.  We harvested homegrown watermelons. 

But all the while, we missed Mike.

Then, he left Iraq.

And got diverted to Italy instead of Spain. Something about Greeks.  Then, he climbed a volcano, and it started erupting.  And went cliff diving.  And got stern lectures from me, including the words, "So help me, if you have safely made it out of a combat zone only to die on a volcano...". Then he made it to Spain.  Then across the Atlantic.

And then he made it home.

And, even though it was a long four months, it also felt like he hadn't been gone a day!  We were so happy to have him back!  We celebrated by spending some time in the Lowcountry at Edisto.

And here is a random picture of the boys in their school uniforms on Mitch's first Mass day at school.

So, that is it for now.  See you in another four months!!!

Vote For Pedro!

My kids....aahhhhh....my kids.  They are a constant source of entertaintment.  Usually the mocking kind. 

On the last day of school, Matty had a Fiesta!  That got me a-thinkin'.  Just stick with me for a minute...

He loves tots.  Ligers are pretty much his favorite animal.   And, he definitely has nunchuck skills.

and.....

And perhaps the apple does not fall very far from the dork tree.  I am just one side pony tail short of a Deb,  as I bet you that my parents still have my Kaboodle up in the attic!  We are all Dyno-mite!!!

I Think I Feel A Wreck Coming On....

My great friend Steph sent this link along to me a few months, and many, many laughs ago.  If you have never checked out

http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

then please do yourself a favor.  Get a good cup of coffee, a comfy chair, and peruse.  My thoughts turn to cakes, as I am picking one up tomorrow morning in preparation for our preschool graduation.  I do not have high hopes.  Here are come factors involved:

1.  It is from Wal-mart.

2.  It is supposed to read:  "Congratulations, Graduates!"  I am just asking for it, aren't I?

3.  see #1

4.  It took her three tries to correctly record my 10 digit phone number.  She said that she was having such a hard time, "cause those first three numbers are different than around here."

5.  I had to slowly, oh so slowly, spell out each word to be written on the cake, and at one time had to tell her that her lowercase "d" was actually a "b."

6.  It is going to have "ligt blue triming" and "pastell colors"

Go check out the sight.  Maybe you'll see our cake in a few days!

Well, Now I Know...

If I ever wondered what my boys really thought of me, well, wonder no more.   This, apparently, is what I look like, according to Mitch.  Complete with earrings and a necklace (I attribute that certain Frankensteinish look to my accessories).

Mitch also gave me a new purse.

And then Matty answered a few questions about yours truly.

Not bad, Matty.  You get bonus points for the treadmill and lettuce comments, but you were incorrect about the money situation going on in my purse.  I also am not quite sure how to take the idea that the sole reason that you love me does not involve me taking care of you or comforting you or playing with you or cooking for you or cleaning for you or laughing at you as you put on your undies and run around the house yelling, "Captain Underpants!"  My redeeming quality is that I love your daddy, who is definitely your best buddy.  Not quite sure how to take that!

Slight Hiccups...

So, Mike has been gone about 11 1/2 days, but seriously, who is counting?

So far, I have had two slight emotional hiccups....no breakdowns or hysterics or sobbing...just momentary feelings of "Oh, man.  I wish he were here."

Here are the circumstances surrounding each:

*At Wal-mart (I know, I know), I was on autopilot, just going about our normal Wal-mart business.  Mindlessly filling the cart with our household staples.  Yelling at kids to put back the neon purple Pop-Tarts.  The usual.  I reached for the Arizona Iced-Tea that Mike drinks, put it in the cart, and then thought, "Shoot.  He's the only one that drinks it" and then had to put it back on the shelf.  Pitiful.

*While driving in the car, our song came on.  Everlong, by the FooFighters.  When we first met?  First date?  First song at our wedding?  Nope, nope, and nope.  Everlong is our song...our Guitar Hero song.  The one where I become Domestica and he becomes Rock Daddy and we totally rock that thing out like teenagers on a Friday night while our kids snore in their beds.  That song.  I silently played air guitar while a tear silently slid down my cheek.

OK, not really, but it was sad hearing that song and knowing that he was not here for me to kick his butt at GH.

Howdy there,. from single parent land.  Shhh....don't tell my house, but it has been about 9 days, and so far, nothing has broken.  Murphy's Law of the Military Spouse clearly states that:  "Upon deployment, all systems of a home will work together to wreak havoc upon the remaining spouse, including, but not limited to:  chirping smoke detectors, broken appliances (preferably with water spewing out), leaking faucets, inoperable garage doors, and, most importantly, faulty heating and cooling devices.  It is also at this time that there is a general increase in accounts of things getting jammed, stuck, loose, twisted, unhooked, and broken.  Please also realize that nature is also incorporated into this law, as there is also an increase in household pests, such as spiders."  Well, so far, so good.  I'll keep you posted on what does decide to break...

Here are some photos from Mike's birthday.  WooWee, that's a lot of smoke from all those candles!

And then before he left, we took a little weekend trip to the ocean.  We headed to Fripp Island, which is down by Beaufort in the gorgeous low country.  It is a cute little island, named for a sea captain or a pirate or a whale or something.  We rented a little house that came complete with a view like this...

wildlife like this...

and the best part of all...GOLF CARTS!

We zipped all around that little island and had a blast.  We did have to chuckle at one point, however, when our "Yankee" children were at a playground.  They were playing on a wooden ship, which quickly became their shrimp boat and they were hauling in their nets to see their fresh catch of the day! 

Next up, Mother's Day...here's a sneak peak....aren't I lovely?

TDY

It's deployment time.  And somehow, a 60 day deployment has developed into a 100 day tour.  "Advon" is a naughty word in our house.

Mike is off to a desert location...highlighted by "near beer" and 120 plus degree temperatures.  Be safe, babe.  We will miss you!