You Need to Go Back to Where You Came From...

Pictured below are two people who had hoped that the following story would never see the light of day, but that is the beauty of blogging.  I get to decide what I want to write about, and until some other members of my family develop rival blogs and start posting humiliating stories about yours truly, I hold the monopoly on embarrasing people I love.  So here we go...

While at Epcot, my parents decided to take a ride on Mission:  Space.  If you have ever been on it, you know that there are two versions of the ride...the green (less intense) mission, as well as the orange (vomit comet) version.  Sidenote:  The ride is narrated by Gary Sinise, and two years ago, Mike talked me into going on the more intense version.  To this day, I can not listen to an "Army Strong" commercial or see Lieutenant Dan without being overcome by nausea.  But, I digress...

My parents enter the ride area, and are handed green cards, as they will be going on the more mild version (though it is still fairly robust!).  The cards are laminated placards that provide detailed information about the attraction.  My parents are, at this point, so busy reading their green cards detailing their mission ( in which they train and embark upon and eventually end up on Mars) that they do not notice that they have left the group and have crossed behind a barricade.  They then walk up a ramp and arrive at a locked door with a panel of buttons next to it.

The following is a transcript of the conversation that ensued, based upon extensive interviews with the persons involved:

Sandy (trying to open locked door):  It's locked John.  I'll try this. (starts pushing random buttons on panel next to door).

John:  Is this where we are supposed to be?

Sandy:  Yeah, Rachel said that it was not crowded yet.  I think this is part of our training.  We need to get through  this door.

John:  Is it working? 

Sandy:  No, John.  Try our green cards.

John (feverishly swiping green card):  Nope.  Nothing.

Sandy:  Try our room key.

John tries room key.  Sandy still pushing buttons.  Suddenly, a voice from above.

Voice:  Can I help you?  What are you doing?  Where are you trying to go?

Sandy:  Um, we're trying to go to Mars.

Voice:  Well, you need to go back to where you came from. 

(Me, thinking aloud):  Do you mean, like, Earth?

Voice:  Oh, wait a minute.  Are you the people from Hewlett Packard?

(Me, thinking again):  Seriously, Disney Control Room Employee.  They are swiping room keys and wearing pin lanyards.  Do they LOOK like they are there to fix the computers? 

You know in some break room at Epcot somewhere, these two have made the Bloopers reel of the surveillance cameras.  Way to go, space travellers!  Mission:  Failed.