Hmmm...

I just folded the laundry. I folded 6 pairs of undies for Matty, compared with Mitch's 2 pairs. Oh, Mitch....

It's 5 o'clock somewhere...

In the last ten minutes, Matthew has...

*driven the John Deere tractor out into the street with me running VERY fast to catch him. No worries, though, he was just on his way to Toy R Us to "get some Geotrax." He had a dollar stuffed in his pocket.

*been grounded from riding the getaway vehicle until further notice.

*spilled TWO entire glasses of milk on the kitchen floor.

The beer light is on at my house.

Photorama...in no particular order...

Shhh...I'm hiding from the children. I have a few minutes to throw some pictures up on the long neglected blog. I am sorry, little blog. It's just a really busy time right now....

Here are photos from our recent adventures. They are in no particular order because our computer is still ill. Now, don't get me wrong, it is working MUCH better, but there are still things that it definitely balks at. Like moving pictures up and down in a blog. It hates that operation, and since we missed out on the $298 laptops at Wal-mart on Black Friday, I am very careful about what I ask it to do. Not much scrolling, computer, promise.

So, here we go. Mike and I had the time of our lives over the Ohio State weekend. My parents (bless them) drove down to stay with the hooligans, and I flew up to Michigan via US Airways. Mike flew a jet up and performed a flyover during the National Anthem. The flyover was awesome...everything you want a flyover to be. Loud and fast, and completely within regulations, right honey? I got to share the day with my Lisa, and then hit some highpowered tailgates after the game.

Here are some photos from Mike in Jordan. Lots of ruins. Almost as if our kids had been there 2000 years ago.

Random family photo in the backyard. It actually is not terrible. It may be coming soon in Christmas card form to your home. If I can get my act together. If not...Merry Christmas.

Kids with Santa at the zoo. Mitch is reading his list to the Big Guy. Matty is licking his coat.

Mitch and Mimi at the zoo lights.

A fairly respectable picture of us. We are smiling because we got carded so often in Ann Arbor.

A thousand words.

And now for a few gems. During our Thanksgiving blessing (remember: I live in boy-world) Mitch tooted. Loudly. He then holds up his hands and states, "Well, I guess that was my booty's blessing!"

We now have an elf in our home. Clyde Su-Su the elf, to be exact. He is from the Elf-on-a-Shelf program, where Santa sends an elf to your home to watch your children in the days leading up to Christmas, and then he flies back to the North Pole each night to report your children's behavior to Santa. This is working like a champ in our house...for Mitch. Mr. Rule-Follower...always reminding everyone that Clyde Su-Su is watching. Last night, Matty was breaking up a train track that Mitch had made and was generally being a miscreant. Mike went upstairs to sort it out, and Mitch said, "Dad. I think we should just let the elf handle this!"

While waiting in the line for Santa, Matty wandered off. I went to fetch him and he did not feel like coming back to the line and just kept walking. I found myself yelling, "Matty, Santa is watching. He is, like, right there!"

Well, busy weeks for us. A few more weeks of teaching and school, and then we head to Disney World. We are so excited! So, if I do not see you until after the holidays, have a wonderful holiday season!

I live!

Hello!

Greetings from the three ring circus that is my life. I know that it has been a long, long time since an update. Turns out the kids stopped being strange and I really felt that I had nothing to write about.

Yeah, right.

Here are some quick highlights from the past month:

*Mike spent most of it in Jordan. The country. Eating goats.

*We now know more about "febrile seizures" than I would ever, ever want to know. Thank you, Matty. No worries. He is absolutely fine now.

*Our 9-1-1 ems takes at least 20 minutes, and three follow up phone calls asking for directions, to get to our house. When they arrive, it is almost certain that they will have absolutely no idea how to work a thermal scan thermometer.

*Mitch is rocking the sight words in kindergarten.

*Our cats continue to exist despite our best efforts to ignore them and tend only to their most basic of needs.

*I love Gymboree Gym-bucks.

*I still love teaching my pre-school class.

*Trick-or-treating in our 'hood is awesome.

*We are taking applications from NCAA institutions who would like to be our "football school." We are great fans, just looking for a new home. The SEC is starting to sound like fun...

*Loving fall here in SC. Gorgeous...and the snakes will soon be hibernating!

That is about it here from the Acorn House (as the kids named it last year.) AKA the Nut House...works for me.

A Letter to my Child...

Dear Matthew,

I love you, but I believe that you are trying to drive me to the nuthouse. In your gentle and sweet manner, you politely refuse to do anything that your father and I ask you to do. We have yet to find a consequence that you actually care about.

Last evening, you finally were climbing into the tub after cleaning up all your messes, and you threw your clothing behind you as you climbed in. And then you decided at that exact moment that you would remember to flush the toilet, which we have been hounding you about for months. You haven't flushed the toilet in eons. Well, congratulations, my boy. You flushed your shirt down the toilet. Luckily, I grabbed it just as it was swirling out of view and pulled it from the lake of pee. With my bare hands. You're welcome. The night before in the tub, you threw a full cup of water on me, while yelling, "Surprise!"

You also eat nothing. Nothing.

And you are naked way too often. Like right now, as you are sitting naked at the kitchen table happily punching small maple leaves out of paper with my scrapbook punch. I have not the energy to deal with you at this moment. I must collect myself first. I need a beer. Or valium. Or both.

I hope you turn out to be a valuable and contributing member of society, but I am not betting on it. As you were being fingerprinted for the local police as part of a "KidWatch" identity program, you told the policeman, "See you later." I fear that this may be a true statement.

Love, Mom

Two gems....

Gotta love these nuggets of non-wisdom:

From Matty to the director of the school where Matty attends and I work...

Matty: "I am sick today but my mom and dad said I still need to come to school even though I am coughing."

Nice.

And then this from Mitch, while walking into Lowe's.

Mitch: "What time does Lowe's close?"

Me: "After you go to bed. Like ten or something."

Mitch: "But it is not open all night?"

Me: "Nope. Wal-mart is open all night, though."

Mitch: "Oh yeah, for the people who go to Wal-mart who are nocturnal."

Matty wakes up this morning and greets me with this:

"Mom, I had a dream last night that my bed turned into a combine and I drove it down the stairs, out the door, and then I harvested the road."

Yes, Mitch we all knew was lost to the John Deere's and cornfields, but it seems that Matty is a goner, too. And we had such high hopes for him.